Diane Curtis-Knight, Author at The Driving Anxiety Coach

Mental Health Awareness. Let’s Talk.

As it’s Mental Health Awareness week I wanted to touch base and discuss how so many people find talking about their driving anxiety is such an issue. It becomes a major sticking point to so many and starts to become a stigma.

Mental Health, or rather poor mental health will have touched everyone of us at some point but it gets swept under the carpet and we tell people we are fine.

There is only one way stop any mental health issues being stigmatised and that is to talk about it.

Clearly, we’re here because of anxiety with driving, but let me ask you. How many of your friends and family know about your issue? If the answer is no-one, then ask yourself why? Or maybe you have mentioned it to one or two people and they just didn’t’ get it. They told you it’s all in your head and to just get on with it. Granted, this does not help and is perhaps understandable that you’ve decided not to share this information with anyone else. This may be particularly difficult if your partner or your employer is less than understanding.

So, what can we do about it? Education. Open discussion and explaining to people that this isn’t just something to pull yourself together with. There is a range of information out there on You Tube, Social Media and Forums that you could forward to them to explain that this is more common than people perceive.

One of my client recently told me how she visited family the previous week only to discover that each of the family members had an issue with driving on certain types of road. It was only that this particular client was open enough to discuss her anxieties with them and that she was seeking help for it that they all started to open up to each other.

Having someone with you to encourage you, (not just tell you to get on with it) when approaching the type of roads that challenge you can help.

Having an accountability buddy to share your challenges with. It could be a friend, family, or it could be me.

Journaling about the journeys that make you uncomfortable and celebrating the wins, no matter how small can all help.

Above all, keep talking and keep working towards your goals of being able to live life on your own agenda.

The importance of journaling and setting action plans

You may already have heard about the benefits of journaling as there is much evidence-based research that shows this can help to reduce anxiety.

‘No matter your age, journaling is a powerful evidence-based strategy that you may find helpful for managing mental health conditions and stress. Journaling is an example of an expressive coping method, which is a technique that helps a person process negative thoughts, feelings or experiences by releasing them’. (psychocentral.com).

With the specifically designed Driving Anxiety Coach – Driving Journal you can set realistic goals and targets, no matter how small. We are 42 percent more likely to achieve our goals just by writing them down according to Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University. Start small and work up. Make them achievable, not overwhelming. Go slowly, but never backwards. You can upgrade them whenever you’re ready.

Recording and journaling a drive that was challenging can help you reflect on how it went. Looking back at these records later can help you realise how far you’ve come with your progress even if you don’t feel you have.

Scoring (out of 10) how you feel about having to do the journey, and then again having executed it can also help you realise the anticipation is often worse than the execution. Reflecting upon this a few weeks later you can also see tangible evidence that the fear levels and symptoms of anxiety are reducing.

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Breaking a journey down into manageable steps

I went away over the Easter break to The Netherlands and toured across the country on my push bike. The phrase ‘When in Rome’ springs to mind as The Netherlands accommodates 17 million inhabitants and 23 million bicycles, (around 2 million are e-bikes). I don’t own an e-bike so had to rely on my own fitness to get me round. It was however, a pleasure (most of the time) to cycle in The Netherlands as a) it’s flat.. very flat; and b) everywhere you go there are fit for purpose cycle paths so I felt safe cycling in most places. Amsterdam was a little more challenging, but generally speaking it was great experience once we got our heads around riding on the other side of the road from the UK.

I rarely cycle in the UK these days as the roads around the area I live in rural Buckinghamshire is very poorly maintained to point they are too dangerous for anyone on two wheels and unfortunately the attitudes of some drivers is negative towards cycling and I don’t feel safe. So, one of my issues was my fitness as I haven’t cycled any decent distance at home since COVID times so felt bad that I was holding my friends up.

The last day of our break we were due to cycle from the east side of the country to the west in one hit to catch the ferry back home. The distance was 60 miles (around 100km) and the weather forecast was not good with a band of heavy rain and head on winds hitting the country from the afternoon. So, I had a contingency plan to catch a train if the going got too tough for me.

It became clear that fitness was less of any issue and mental attitude was the biggest. I had to change my mindset. Rather than my story being, ‘I’ll never be able to do this’, I had to change it to ‘I CAN do this’, and quite frankly it was a game changer.

Also, rather than thinking I have 60 miles to cycle I broke it down into six lots of ten mile sections. Stopping for a short break and ticking off each section as we went by.

The main train station I considered stopping at was around 35 miles in, but when we got to it, I had kept my story positive and was enjoying the journey, plus we were making good time to beat the bad weather.

Unfortunately, the weather did close in on us with around 15 miles to go and but with most of the journey now under my belt I made the decision to keep going. I kept my mindset positive by saying out loud ‘this is fun’, (a little ironically, but nevertheless it worked. Fake it till you make it!)

I looked to the end of each road, or section of cycle path to reach and counted down the last few sections. Even with the now awful weather I knew the going was so easy in this country as there were no hills and I did not want to waste this opportunity.

The sense of achievement was amazing! It left me confident I could and would do this again.

So, when you are looking at doing a journey be it long or short, don’t think of it as a whole. Break it down into bite size manageable steps or sections. Stop for a break and move onto the next section. If the going gets tough within those sections then micro-section it, to the end of a road, a tree or a sign. The biggest challenge is in our heads. Mental attitude is everything.

Exposure Therapy by Micro-stressing

Welcome to British Summer Time. Pity the weather didn’t get the memo on Sunday.

The view from my home village windmill is amazing on a good day, spanning over Buckinghamshire and I’ve been lucky enough to see it on better days.

The reason I was there today was to speak with the volunteers who run the mill about having some of my forthcoming wedding photos taken from the windmill’s balcony.

My problem is I don’t do heights. I’ve posted about this before as a few years ago I did manage to Ab-sail 100 meters down the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth and while I felt amazing after I had completed it. However, I haven’t done it again since, and hence if I attempted it again I would probably feel as petrified as if it were my first time.

So to be able to stand on this balcony in the summer looking radiant, happy and confident I need to be exposed regularly to being here.

Micro-stressing my brain with Exposure Therapy is the only way I’m going to overcome the dizziness and wobbly legs I feel when I stand here. Just doing this once and not doing it again for a few weeks will not reduce the fear.

I don’t feel comfortable doing this either, neither do I expect the discomfort to go away entirely. But I do expect to be able to cope with it and not over think the whole situation.

I’ll post updates from time to time to show you my progress.

(By doing this I’m also making myself accountable to you).

Whether it’s heights or driving over a bridge, driving down hill, a motorway or whatever it is that triggers discomfort, the ONLY way you are ever going to overcome this is to do it. Feel the fear and do it anyway and by micro-stressing your brain you will slowly desensitise. As time goes by you will slowly feel less uncomfortable.

Also making a commitment to others makes you more accountable and do you’re more likely to continue, and so you’re more likely to continue.

We can do this together!

Baby steps!

Driving Anxiety is Cognitive, not Physical

Anxiety and panic attacks, regardless of the triggers, often come with a set of physical symptoms. This can be dizziness, Norcia, tingling hands and legs, raised heart rate etc. Because we don’t like the way this makes us feel, we then avoid the triggers that set these symptoms off.

The fact is though that your Anxiety is Cognitive, not Physical. Let me repeat that: Anxiety is Cognitive, not Physical.

When it comes to Driving Anxiety this can become extremely restrictive to your life as you have to rely on others or not so reliable public transport. You start living your life on other peoples’ schedules, not your own. This can be costly both financially and emotionally and can put strain on relationships.

The trouble is, we start to fear the fear and so AVOID the places that trigger those uncomfortable feelings. (This is natural as human beings we don’t want to feel these uncomfortable and sometimes out of control feelings). But let me repeat… This is COGNATIVE, NOT PHYSICAL.

So, what does RECOVERY look like? Well firstly, Recovery is not linier and it isn’t easy. I want you to understand that RECOVERY for Driving Anxiety doesn’t mean the fear will go away entirely. It’s about managing the fear by gentle exposure or baby-steps if you prefer.

Accepting that the occasional wave of panic or anxiety may still re-visit you, but you as you are EMPOWERED with the right tools to cope, you get through and understand that you are OK! This is what recovery looks like. This is your new normal.

What is Exposure Therapy?

“It is a technique in behaviour therapy to treat anxiety disorders. It involves exposing the client to the issue source or its context without the intension to cause harm. Over time, people find their reactions to the situation decreases.” That’s what a google search would come up with.

Stress itself is healthy and we need it to get by, but it needs to be managed.

. If we stress our muscles through exercise they get stronger, but you wouldn’t walk into a gym and start lifting weights beyond your capability. Indeed, this would cause you harm and you probably wouldn’t go back. But by exposing your muscles regularly through gentle repetitions you can gain strength.

Just as a tree grows stronger in the wind for the next wind to come. But again if the wind was too strong it would break.

Exposure to driving roads clients are not comfortable driving on requires regular and gentle exposure to build up to feeling less uncomfortable each time. Again, over doing it would not be helpful but bit by bit #BabySteps, we can change your behaviour, your beliefs and your story.

It’s easy to get frustrated or impatient to be able to do more and get back to where you used to be before the anxiety / phobia took a hold of you, but patience is the key. #onedayatatime

#Vehophobia #DrivingAnxiety

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway!

Back in August I headed out for another adventure with some more of my swimming buddies, this time to Pembrokeshire.

One of our activities was Coasteering (jumping off rocks into the sea).

This activity pushed the boundaries and anxiety buttons for several of us. But we were in good hands, great company beautiful scenery and perfect weather and conditions.

The thought of jumping off a 3 meter cliff into deep water filled many of us with total dread… But of course we didn’t start with a 3 meter jump.

Initially we were introduced to small step off of a rock that was half a meter above the calm waters, and this was after a safety briefing.

Bit by bit we were exposed higher jumps until eventually we reached a rock that offered a range of different heights, 2, 3 and 4 meters! Gradually we each jumped from the first, then back again to do it again, and again. Once we felt ‘comfortable’ with one height, we moved to the next height.

I’m not going to lie, it took me a fair amount of mental effort to jump the 3 meters, but I did it!… eventually! Not once but twice!! (However I was happy to leave the 4 meter jump to the others who didn’t struggle with heights in the way I did).

By being exposed to these jumps bit by bit we gradually desensitised to the fear. It didn’t go away entirely but became manageable to the point we all thoroughly enjoyed the experience. We encouraged each other and whooped and praised each other too.

That’s exactly the way I encourage my clients to work towards their goals of being able to drive on roads that appear too scary to cope with initially. By graduated desensitisation or in other words… baby steps. Dip your toe in, then your ankle.. and so on. (If you’ll pardon the metaphor).

It is easier to walk away. But give it a try see how the experience can open up your world to endless possibilities.

Box breathing can reduce your anxiety

This is a simple technique that helps with anxiety and can be done while sitting quietly in the car. It’s called Square or Box Breathing. Simply control your breathing by breathing in for the count of 4, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for the count of 4, hold for 4 seconds and repeat for 4 to 6 cycles.

This is a great way to reduce anxiety by lowering the heart rate by working with the Vagus Nerve.

This is used by some law enforcement and military units during high pressure situations. If it’s good enough for them, you might want to give it a go too.

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